Lessons from Goldfish and Farmers

As I was putting our boys to bed last night, my husband tells me to come downstairs when I'm finished, which is unusual. He must have something to talk about, I thought. I joined him downstairs and asked what was up. He looks me in the eyes and, in all seriousness, starts, "You are spread too thin...with this, that, and the other thing, blah, blah, blah..." Now, I'm thinking, did I leave a burner on and nearly burn down the house? Were the boys in harms way from something I did? or didn't do? What could I have possibly done? Is he joking with me? So, I interrupt, "I dropped a ball. What did I forget to do?" He said, "Your fish is dead."

I’m relatively new to fish. It’s only been a little over a year, but the very first fish I bought was sick and I didn't know it until about two weeks in. I had a crash course in fish health, fish diseases, fish medicine, and humane euthanasia. I know, you don't want to know about that and neither did I! But I had to deal with it. Right then and there. Humanely.

And now, it was true. Cocoa, our beautiful bronze and black Oranda, had been sick for several months. Apparently, it is common for fancy goldfish to develop a swim bladder condition that flips them over and causes them to float. Upside down. Cocoa's condition progressed slowly and I had noticed she wasn't getting along so well the day before yesterday. So, was I surprised at my husband's news? No. The problem is, I am relieved that I didn't have to end her life, but sad and guilty that I didn't – on account that she likely suffered because I put it off.

How is this related to my experience as a Field Mom? I'll tell you! The farm families talk about animal health, but don't make a point to talk about sick animals or euthanasia with us. If a Field Mom asks, they answer; however, it's not something any of us really want to think about. But, on the farm, they do have to think about it and they have to deal with it. Humanely. And, more to the point, they don’t put it off, like I did.

As you know, if you have a pet, not only is animal sickness emotional, but it takes a lot of time and resources to care for a sick animal. No one wants that. This is one of the reasons why our farmers place such a high priority on keeping their animals healthy; but, sometimes animal health is out of their control. The Creator isn't perfect with every newborn,  nor does every newborn come during ideal weather conditions. In the sub-zero cold of this past winter, my Farm Mom pen pal in Farmington, Illinois, was warming newborn calves in her basement for several days. Presumably, her four children were witness to the level of care their parents gave to their farm animals in their basement. If that’s not the “family” in family farm, then I’m not sure what is!

One of the reasons we have fish is for our boys. Children who care for animals at a young age develop a strong sense of caring and empathy toward other creatures and also people. The Farm Moms we have met know this. They are talking about how the arrival of summer vacation means their children will soon be showing their animals at 4-H events and county fairs, just as they did when they were young. I am seeing the photos of their children loving their animals. Lots of good life lessons in there.

My point is this. While this urban mom may have a couple pets to care for, my new Farm Mom friends have farm animals on a scale many times multiplied. There are many differences in how we care for our animals, not the least of which is discipline. To be clear, they are more disciplined than I. But, one thing we have in common is a sense of humanity, caring, and empathy toward our animals that we all want our children to know. The Field Moms have heard the Farm Moms talk to us on the bus, in one-on-one talks during some free time, and through various forms of written exchange. Their sense of caring and empathy is there and it comes through in conversation without words to define it.